Time

Time plays an annoying trick on us all. It passes so slow when you want it to go fast and it goes so fast when you want it to go slow. There's actually a simple explanation to it which we all know, yet as human beings, we will try our best not to acknowledge it. Blaming time itself would be a satisfaction to our self ego. This is what I'm doing now. I'm blaming time for the situation that I am in, for the dissatisfaction that I am feeling.

I have grown accustomed to planning what I would do with my time ever since I've lived alone. It was a short period yet having to deal with it on my own was a great self satisfaction. No one telling me to do this or that at a certain time, knowing that I could do what I wanted in my own time and during a period that i wanted was a great feeling.

Well, I know that I will be able to do that again but it seems to take ages! Two month. One would say that it is a short period in this long lifetime. Yet when you're in the moment and waiting for it to happen, it feels very long! I've tried and tried to get through it as painless as possible by filling my time with activities but I can't live life like an island, at least not here. Also, when I'm enjoying my time, there seems to be a sudden reminder of how it can just stop and start going slow again.

I guess as a human, I will never fully appreciate the value of time. I want to, but I guess my ego will never let me.

*sigh*