I told myself when I came to a conclusion of whether I'm staying or going, I will write a blog about it entitled "Final Verdict". Well, I've known for quite a while now but finally found the will to write about it. So here it is. I'm going back to KL. It was a hard, long and painful process yet thats what I've decided. To tell the truth, I'm quite relieved that I'm going back. After a while of staying here, I feel that this is not a place that I want to stay in. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't completely adapt to the place but I have to say that my father's position here plays a big part. And me staying will not help me or the family much. I guess I will never find the guts to say that to my parents, coz i know it'll offend them in a way. But that's not my intention. If i stay, I don't think I'll find the strength to be myself and be the way that they want.
I can't wait to go back. Back to my friends, college (where i can do what i want) and just a familiar place. I guess I'll just have to push aside all the bad memories and start fresh. I'm going back for my education and I'll keep remembering that. I'll try to find new experience and do what I always wanted, which is live alone and run my own life. Maybe college life will be the way that I imagined it (with a few differences here and there).
Yet the hardest part will be leaving you My Darling. I think God's intention of bringing me here is to meet you. No regrets. Everything happens for a reason and you are the reason I'm here. We confessed that we both have doubts and fears of whats to come. It scares me like hell. I'm so afraid to hold on too tight and I'm afraid to let go. I'm afraid of our serious talk of our future, I'm afraid when you say that you love me and how you believe that I'm your last. I'm afraid of not knowing whats to come. You promised you'll try your best to make this work and I believe you seeing that look in your eyes. I dunno if you noticed or not but your eyes was sparkling with a speck of tear that held on tight to your lovely eyes. I'll keep your word and I'll give you mine. I'll hold on for you. For us. Coz I know you're worth it. I don't know what's to come and I can't say that this will work, but as you say, only God knows and all we can do is pray and hope for the best. Don't forget to pray for us when you go Umrah. But I guess I don't need to remind you of that.
So thats the final verdict. That's my decision. I'll stick to it and make the best of it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
la! me, nini, alanna, amir, sam and chino were having dinner the other day in TGI's and tiba2 nini ask about you. and then amir blurted out that youre coming back. and then me and alanna were like "amirr!" and nini was like "ey ey! everyone knows but me!!!" and so we told her that we were supposed to make it a surprise but udah keluar deh rahasianya! haha.
Post a Comment