Reminscing

There's a saying,

"You will remember the beginning towards the end"

I guess this is what I have been doing lately. Thinking about what was and reminiscing on what will be.

Here's what I know at the moment. I am living in the shadow of my parent's position and I am in a serious relationship with someone that I dearly dearly love. I am soon leaving the country in which I had hoped to continue my studies but have sadly failed to do so. And with my departure, I'll be leaving the ones that I love most in life.

I've been remembering what hopes I had when I came here, what enthusiasm, and spirit that drove my life. I was in the country in which I had always hoped to see, to discover and to explore. It seemed great! Especially the fact that my father's position would help it easier for me to see it and with the promise that he gave me before of the freedom in which I always wanted.

Yet, nothing is ever as it seems. It turns out that everything was the opposite of what I had hoped for. I have to admit that I have seen things that others have not and I appreciate every bit of it, yet there's always a pros and cons to everything in life. I don't think I need to expand my explanation of why and what the outcome was of the whole situation for I guess most of the readers of this blog already know or could easily predict.

Seeing how I will soon leave this place I have chosen to try and take a minute to see things clearly and make sure that in the next journey I take I wont take the wrong path, or even worse, the same path that I have taken before. I left KL with confident thoughts that things will be better here. Yes, in a sense, I was running away from what was. This time, I want to make sure that that is not my intention.

Now, I have a few message in which I want to send out.

First, to my beloved parents. Even though I know you guys wont read this I just want to let it out. I love you guys so very much. I apologize if I caused both of you pain especially during the duration of my stay here. I'll try so very much to make you proud. Thank you for all the knowledge that you guys have given me and know that I'll try my best to apply it all. I guess I will always be your little girl and somehow in a very subtle way, I still want to be. But please, trust me for I will hold both your trust and wont betray it.

Secondly, to my darling. I'm still amazed at how fast everything had happened, yet we both know that what we feel is real. I'm scared as hell my love and I see it in your eyes that you are too. I pray to God that everything works out for the best and I truthfully hope that you are the best for me. Lets take things slow and see what time has in store for us. As u say, we're only human, we try our best and the rest is up to God.

The third is for all my friends. I ask each and everyone of you to help me stay in path when I come back. To remind me of what's important and what my intentions are, for my stay there is temporarily. Remind me to make the best out of each moment and to think clearly.

The rest, I leave to you dear Lord.